Today marks day 1 of the Advent Season. I’ll be honest, I have never intentionally studied advent or reflected on it’s power all month long. Christmas Eve services move me to tears but I don’t typically spend the month in awe of the reality of Christ.
This month is different. Maybe because I have more time on my hands but I’d like to think it’s because I’m aware of my need. This morning I googled an advent devotional and the first thing that popped up was: The Dawning of Indestructible Joy: Daily Readings by John Piper.
Today’s verse is Luke 19:10, “The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” God intentionally sent His son to save the world. This is so important to grasp. God is the Creator with a purpose. He didn’t set things up and leave us to figure out the rest. He is chasing, pursuing, and directing us everyday.
A lot of this off season has felt like wasted time. We are hanging in the uncertainty of our careers. I’d be lying if I didn’t wonder if I will ever see Brian pitch again, if this baseball thing will be a career, if I’ll ever write a book. This morning I read this from Piper’s devotional:
“It’s a season for cherishing and worshiping this characteristic of God—that he is a searching and saving God, that he is a God on a mission, that he is not aloof or passive or indecisive. He is never in the maintenance mode, coasting or drifting. He is sending, pursuing, searching, saving. That’s the meaning of Advent.”
Praise God He is not aloof or passive or indecisive. I have felt more indecisive lately than ever. One day I want to give up social media because I cannot see another Instagram post of the things I’d rather be doing. The next day I decide I need to go part-time because I’m burnt out from my job. We’ve even booked flights to escape. Speaking with my family and friends I feel misunderstood. Somewhere I’ve believe the lie that my purpose is based off what I’m doing instead of God’s call on my life.
Maybe you’re like me and need to be reminded God is up to something. Not just on a global level but a personal one too. He is the God of detail, mission, and pursuit. This isn’t wasted time, we don’t need to escape or numb, we need to press in and trust God loves us so much. Yep, He loves you. Because that’s what this fear and frustration deep down in me is really all about. The booking flights, complaining, self-pity, is all rooted in me wondering if God is still there. It’s almost as if I’ve had enough & I need to take matters into my own hands to help myself out. Only to find out that what I’ve done won’t fix my doubt.
Contentment is always something I’ve struggled with but I thought it was related to my outside circumstances. I think my real struggle is within. A deep fear is my version of success doesn’t align with God’s. In theory I know success in God’s kingdom is bigger than being a big-leaguer and author but will it be enough if that’s not God’s plan for our life? Will all of this be worth it? My focus for this Advent season is purpose. Not my purpose, God’s purpose. The more I learn about God the easier it is to trust Him so it’s back to the basics. My prayer for us today is that God would open our eyes to His character of pursuit and strategy. Even when I can’t understand how He is working or why I want to rely on His faithfulness to show-up and deliver us, His children, whom He loves so much.